


You're Part of the Machine

by BeesKnees



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, District 13, F/M, Victors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:23:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5217779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeesKnees/pseuds/BeesKnees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why should Gale have been expected to like Finnick Odair?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Part of the Machine

He doesn't like Finnick Odair.

Not that he feels the need to explain himself on that score. Why should he – why should he have to explain himself, and why should he be expected to like Finnick Odair?

But for the record, he doesn't like Finnick Odair because he's a Career. Because as if the Hunger Games weren't terrible enough, as if they weren't _unfair_ enough, Careers had to be thrown into the mix. Kids who said they were from the districts, too, who said they were just the same. But they've never been starved. They've never known what it was like to wake without knowing if you could actually get up, but knowing that a whole bunch of other mouths depend on you. 

As if the Hunger Games weren't already unfair enough – they put in 18-year-olds who have been trained for this sort of thing. Who have been whetted on the taste of blood, who have been told that the entire point of their existence is to bring pride to their district. So, yeah, how is some mostly starved kid from Twelve, who has probably never held a weapon before, supposed to fight a Career off? Is it any surprise that they've almost never won? 

And then, when these Careers inevitably win, they're supposed to celebrate them months later. They're supposed to praise these victors who had laughed while killing the kids from their districts. 

So excuse the fuck out of him, but Gale isn't interested in being friends with Finnick Odair. 

…

(It's bad enough to watch her go back into the arena a second time. Again, he waits to watch her die. He waits to watch Snow crush her. They are caught up in this firestorm. He would be fine with that if he could fight for her, fight alongside her. But he is grounded. He is the one left behind, sidelined. He is forced to watch as she is allied again with Peeta, forced to watch as she paraded around the Capitol, turned into something she is not. Her face is painted over, and he wants to shout at all of them, that she is not theirs to recreate. 

He can't get away from watching, not this time. Not with the new Peacekeepers. They're rounded up, kept in the square as the Cornucopia bloodbath begins. 

When Finnick Odair puts himself right in her path, he waits for her to land an arrow in his chest. It would be the smartest thing she could do, take one of the top contenders out right off the bat – catch the attention of plenty of sponsors.

But instead she allies with him.

She decides he's someone that she can trust with her life – with Peeta's life. 

He doesn't understand that. They're from District 12. They're not Careers out here.)

…

The Quarter Quell doesn't matter though. Not when they're back together in District 13. Finally, he has the chance to make a difference, a chance to fight beside her, a chance to break the Capitol that has hurt them so many times. 

He plants himself beside Katniss, tries to coax herself back into her skin. She'll be okay. He knows this, because she's stronger than anyone else he knows. It'll just take time for them to become them again. 

He visits her as much as he's able while she's still kept in hospital quarters. He hears Finnick Odair crying, because everyone who is anywhere near his room has heard him crying. It's almost embarrassing, such a stark difference from the flirtatious smile he had given Katniss delivered with the almost unforgettable line, “Every time that cannon goes off, it's music to my ears.”

“I don't know what he's crying about,” Gale says one day when he can't take the noise anymore. (So Finnick Odair has lost. It's hard to feel sympathetic when he spends his days around the people who survived the bombing of District 12, trying to find ways to be useful here in Thirteen. All of them have lost their homes. People are still trying to find family members, desperately going through the list of names each day, as if, somehow, they could have been missed all the days before now. Every family has lost someone – and only the families who are lucky have lost only one. 

But none of them give into that. None of the rest of them has the luxury.)

Katniss stares at him, long and hard, but wherever she is, she isn't with him right now. She's a thousand miles away. 

(These moments happen more and more. Even then he won't admit it. That she isn't ever coming back to him. Not completely. Not whole. Some part of her is lying in a field in an arena that has been deconstructed. Some part of her has been lost in the fog of the Quarter Quell. Some part of her heart will always have been swallowed by the Capitol.)

…

He expects the rest of Thirteen to dismiss Finnick as well, and he's not entirely sure why they don't. At worst, they're patient with him – in the same sort of way that he's patient with Katniss. But she's becoming herself again. She has that fire inside of her. She's helping the rebellion, not letting herself descend into a shell of herself no matter what she feels over Peeta. 

Finnick's not mentioned much in the course of any sort of official meeting, but when he is, it's always as if he's with them. As if he's one of them. 

He's not, Gale wants to remind them. He's a Career. He's their golden boy. He's a victor who _chose_ for so many years to be the beloved of the Capitol. Yes, he survived the Quarter Quell. Yes, that helped them get Katniss out of there, and Gale won't forget that. But he doesn't understand everyone else's willingness to just _trust_ Finnick because he's a victor. To forget all the years that they were told that Finnick Odair was the _ideal_ sort of victor from the Capitol's perspective. 

Even Cressida – who, by all accounts, Gale thinks is pretty okay. She had the intelligence to see what was happening in a world that was telling her not to see, and to come out here and help them when it pretty much felt like they were the losing side. Not too many people have come out of the Capitol to do that, and Cressida, unlike Plutarch, feels like she's doing it for the right reason. In one of the first meetings to discuss the propos, Cressida says she eventually wants to do some with Finnick and everyone just nods like that's a good eventual option.

How can it be, Gale wonders. How can _that_ possibly be? Why put this pretty boy in front of a camera when he has done _nothing_ to further their cause?

“He's lonely and very sad,” Prim says succinctly when he comes to check on her after one of her shifts. 

“I picked up on that,” Gale teases, tugging gently on one of her braids. (She's always been like a little sister to him, too, but there's something a little more delicate about Prim Everdeen than any of the Hawthorne family. He does his best to protect her, because he promised Katniss he would, but sometimes it feels like she could slip away when they're not looking. But she's also grown so much. There's something serious in her face now. 

Her answer to him about Finnick is worded in a childishly simplistic sort of way. But she says it as if she understands this victor, who has she has nothing in common with, in some deeply profound way.)

In the end, he figures it's none of his business as long as Finnick isn't messing with Prim.

He probes, just once, while sitting with Beetee. He likes Beetee. He doesn't much get him, doesn't understand half of what he does, but he likes Beetee. 

“Finnick,” Beetee says, repeating the name as if he doesn't know it at first. He peers at Gale over the top of his glasses, which have slid down his nose. “It isn't my place to tell his story. But he's been through a lot.”

“Yeah, it must have been real hard to have the Capitol doting on you,” Gale answers, sarcastic, before he can stop himself. 

Beetee stills, just for an instant.

“The attention of the Capitol is rarely a good thing,” Beetee says, his voice still measured in its deep burr. “Even when you're a victor.” He pauses and then amends, “Especially when you're a victor.”

…

(He tells himself to let it go. Finnick Odair isn't his concern. This isn't a battle worth fighting. 

But it's hard when he knows that Katniss is talking to him. He struggles, he really does, to see what she sees of value in him. 

He feels a moment of panic, where he wonders if she has been wooed by the Capitol playboy routine. That would be more than he could deal with. Peeta's bad enough. But Peeta, at least, he knows is sincere in his affections. There isn't anything wrong with Peeta. But Finnick--

But, no. He's sure it's not that. 

Not when she's so scared for Peeta at every turn.)

…

He feels uneasy the entire flight back to Thirteen. He keeps waiting for them to be shot down. It was all too easy. 

Johanna and Peeta are both sprawled out still, pale and thin. For all he had argued with Katniss over what he would or wouldn't have done if the Capitol had tortured him, it's disturbing to see what's been done to Johanna and Peeta. He had just seen them fight through the Quarter Quell, strong. Capable. And now they both look as if they would break if the plane jars just the wrong way. They're bruised, thin. Shadows of people. 

Annie Cresta, though, she's awake. He doesn't remember her games well. He remembers the water, of course, but the District 12 tributes had been dead long before then. She doesn't like to be touched by any of them, sits next to Boggs and shakes. He talks to her in a low, steady voice, and occasionally she'll shake her head or nod. 

They're about halfway there when Boggs gestures him over. Gale moves toward him.

“Sit with her for awhile, would you?” Boggs says. Gale's gaze drops back down toward Annie. He's not sure about this, but it's such a simple command after the rest of this mission. He sits while Boggs heads up front. He doesn't know what to say to her at first. 

“I'm Gale,” he says, starts out simple. 

She looks at him. There's fear and uncertainty in her eyes, and he can't help but feel guilty for being partially the cause of that.

“Annie,” she whispers. “My name is Annie.”

He gets the sense there's something not quite right with her. But then, they don't see the victors who don't turn out quite right. They see the Finnicks of the world. 

As if she can sense his thoughts, she zeroes in on him, really focuses.

“Mr. Boggs said Finnick is in Thirteen,” she says. She presses one curled hand against her face as she talks, her knuckles riding against her cheek. “Is that true? Have you seen him? Is he alright?” It's a barrage of words from her, and her voice wavers as she speaks. 

“Finnick?” Gale asks, surprised. “Yeah. He's fine. He's alive.” He doesn't know if _fine_ is necessarily the right word, but it's out all the same.

Her eyes close. She presses a hand over her mouth, just for a moment, and tears roll down her cheeks. He wants to touch her, to try and reassure her that everything will be okay. But she's so skittish that he feels that she might not want that. So, he just watches over her while she cries. 

“They kept telling me he was dead,” Annie whispers. “Over and over.” 

“No,” Gale says. “No, he's alive.”

(Where does she fit in? She doesn't, he thinks. Annie Cresta with her shaking hands and whisper of a voice don't fit into the narrative that he's made of Finnick Odair. Career. Victor. Capitol darling.)

When the hovercraft lands, he helps her off the plane. Everyone else is so intent on Johanna, who has woken up, and Peeta, who is still unconscious. So, Annie is left to him to bring down to the medical area. 

“They'll help you now,” he says, nodding toward the doctors gathered around her. “You'll be okay, all right?”

“Thank you,” she says, smiles at him for just a moment in a way that is breathtakingly beautiful. 

He moves to head around the corner, back to the private room where Peeta has been taken. Before he makes it, he hears Annie shout – Finnick's name. He glances over his shoulder in time to see the two of them collide with each other, wrapped up in the other. They slide to the floor together, but don't let go. 

He can't help but be surprised. He doesn't understand that, not one bit. Annie had seemed nice. Normal as standards go for victors, as far as he can tell, even if she was a little odd. He can't imagine her with pretty-boy Finnick Odair. 

But based on that greeting, on the intensity of it, he knows that whatever they feel for each other goes deep. 

“Gale!”

He turns again at the sound of his own name. Katniss throws her arms around him, hugging him just for an instant. He feels hollow at the feel of it, thinks back to the scene he'd just watched. He wonders what's that like, to feel as if you were made for another person and to have that loved returned without any doubt. 

He takes her to Peeta.

…

Finnick and Annie's wedding is a rare moment of levity. 

Gale's still intrigued by the two of them. They still exist in a world of their own, as if nothing else matters. They're the focus of all of District 13, and they only have eyes for each other. They're both changed so absolutely by the other's presence though. Gale doesn't believe in anything so trite as the healing power of love – but Finnick and Annie both seem to bring out the chance for the other to be the best possible version of themselves.

(Which – how? How was is that they even caught the other's attention? He can't imagine Finnick as having the patience to deal with the way that Annie fades away, as Annie being impressed by the flashy and flirtatious nature of Finnick. 

They're in defiance of the odds, that's for sure.)

He dances easily during their wedding, because it's been the only real cause for celebration for the people from his district since they survived the bombing. It's cathartic in many ways. 

He's surprised when he twists in the middle of a dance and suddenly finds himself face to face with the glowing bride. She smiles at him, friendly. She's gone out of her way to thank everyone who was on the mission, particularly him and Boggs. 

“Mr. Hawthorne,” Annie says teasingly as their hands meet. 

“Should I be worried about your groom coming after me?” Gale teases as he twirls her deftly, the fabric of her dress and veil swirling around her. 

“No,” Annie says, looking back at where Finnick is dancing with Katniss. “He knows he has no competition.” She says that so neatly, so statement of fact. It's an unshakeable truth in her mind. 

“Even though you're very handsome.” She's teasing him, and Gale can't help but laugh. 

“You'll have to tell me sometime about how you two happened,” Gale says lightly – and only belatedly hopes he hasn't offended her. 

She slows, just a little, missing the next step. But she hasn't gone away, her expression merely turned thoughtful.

“Everyone thinks they know us already,” Annie answers. “I just saw him for who he was. And he saw me.” 

She takes an extra step and then is gone, whirling along with the steps of the dance and back into her husband's arms. Finnick catches her, leans in, and kisses her. 

Gale feels an odd kick of guilt. Despite everything he's seen of the two of them, he realizes for the first time that maybe he judged Finnick Odair too quickly. 

...

(He only finds out later that it was Finnick's video that masked them as they flew into the Capitol. That Finnick confessed all those deep, dark secrets that had haunted him over the years to save Annie. That the flirtatious facade he'd worn all those years was just that – a facade. 

He likes to know what he would do in situations, that he would be steadfast in his convictions.

But when he imagines that scenario – that sacrifice of self, he doesn't. He doesn't know what he would do if he had to erase himself, become a parody of himself, and do terrible thing after terrible thing if it meant keeping his family safe. 

If it later meant keeping Katniss safe.)

…

Being on the Star Squad proves Gale with the first real moments with Finnick. He feels almost like he should apologize, but, of course, Finnick doesn't know what Gale had thought about him before – although, somehow, Gale doubts that Finnick would be surprised by it. 

He has an easy sort of self-deprecating humor that Gale can appreciate a little better now – although it's still bizarre to see Katniss smile at any of his ill-timed jokes. 

His ease and skill in hand-to-hand combat, particularly with the trident, come as no surprise. They've all seen Finnick fight before, and, if anything, he's better in real life than he was in the Hunger Games.

His intelligence comes as something of a surprise, though, too. He can only wonder over how much Finnick actually picks up on. He's good with Peeta, as well, which is maybe to be expected, as Gale has seen how Finnick can be with Annie. Gale doesn't exactly know how to act around Peeta. He's known Peeta in a distant sort of way his whole life, and now it seems as everything in his life revolves around Peeta Mellark.

And, to be fair, it doesn't feel as if the Peeta in front of him is Peeta anymore at all. He doesn't dare say that to Katniss or any of the other victors, but that's the truth. Sometimes he feels like they brought back something that's really only a weapon now and it would be fair kinder to stop pretending that this person has any chance of ever being Peeta again. It feels like a disservice to Peeta, who, really, Gale knows is a nice person. The weapon they brought back isn't. There's something inside of him that is dangerous, explosive, and pointed right at Katniss. And Peeta never would have wanted to have been used like this against Katniss, to be an instrument of her destruction.

He can't sleep one evening and gets up to train. 

He's surprised to find Finnick running laps, looping around the room in a focused sort of way. Annie's asleep on the floor, curled up next to the door. There's a pillow under her head, a blanket tucked lovingly around her.

“We couldn't sleep,” Finnick says, slowing down when he sees Gale. “Sometimes running helps.” Finnick smiles wryly. “Well, at least when we can't swim.”

Gale doesn't miss the use of the word “we” instead of “I.” He wonders which is true – that both of them couldn't sleep, or was it one of them and the other just came with because that's how they exist? He feels another phantom pang of jealousy. 

“We'll head back up though,” Finnick says. “Give you some space.”

“Do you mind if I run with you?” Gale asks. He's never been much of a runner, but he wouldn't mind the company right now. Finnick glances over at Annie, but then he nods. Gale falls into pace beside Finnick and they loop around the room together. They don't talk for awhile and Gale doesn't mind the silence. It feels like their days are full of chatter now – plans for going into the Capitol, maps of it memorized, including locations of where the important Capitol leaders are. There's so much to know even if they're only going there to look good.

“Thank you for bringing Annie back,” Finnick says abruptly. By the tone of his voice, Gale imagines that this has been something that's been brewing in Finnick's chest for awhile.

“Thank you,” Gale answers back, “For taking care of Katniss in the Quarter Quell.” As much as he had wanted to dismiss Finnick's role in that, he knows he can't. Not really. Katniss is strong and determined and capable, but Finnick had been at her side the entire time. There's no removing his presence from that set of games without wondering what would have happened to Katniss.

But Finnick laughs, which catches Gale off guard.

“You know that Katniss doesn't care much for being taken care of,” Finnick says. 

“No,” Gale answers with a smile. “She doesn't.”

“Finnick?” Annie's sleepy voice floats across the room to them. She's sitting up, still bundled underneath the blankets, looking over at them.

“Duty calls,” Finnick says, veering off their path to head over to Annie. He leans in, presses a kiss to the side of her neck, and then helps her get up. He says something to her as well, but Gale can't make out the words. They're a lost burr, a whisper only for Annie. But Annie smiles up at him, shakes her head, and then playfully swats him on the chest.

In the next second they're gone. 

…

He tries to see back down into the sewers after Katniss drops the holo. This can't be all of them. His eyes dart around, picking out faces, sorting out who's missing. 

He starts to ask, _Where's Finnick_? But he sees Katniss' face and he doesn't dare.

…

He's there when the second hovercraft arrives. The one that carries Haymitch, Johanna, Annie, and a slew of other Thirteen people who are important enough to be brought in early but not important enough to have been brought with Coin.

He's there when Coin's new second-in-command goes up to the three of them and gives them the list of the dead, those who really didn't make it out of the fight. He watches as Annie collapses right there, her knees gone out from underneath her. Johanna half catches her and then just sinks down beside her, stroking a hand through her hair, quietly murmuring something.

He should go say something, but he doesn't know what to say. (The truth is, he knows it doesn't matter what he would say. Nothing is going to heal that wound. Nothing is going to heal any of them now.

Was he wrong?

They were taking the Capitol. That was right, he thinks. 

What were they taking it for?)

…

He doesn't stay in one place for long. He doesn't stay in the Capitol. He avoids Twelve. He helps rebuild in some of the other districts. He likes the ease of construction projects, of hard work that leaves his body exhausted, his mind numb. He helps with some shipping, but avoids projects that bring him in direct contact with other people.

All the same, Jo manages to get in touch with him after the baby's born.

“You're not allowed to tell anyone I said this,” Jo says. “But he's a sweet baby.” 

“I'm sure he is,” Gale says. The phone line buzzes with static.

“You should come see him,” Jo suggests.

They both know that he won't come when Katniss is there. He won't do that to her. (He once wondered what he could do for someone he loved. He can make himself not there, because he's a source of pain to her now. He can go away so that Katniss Everdeen can come back to herself.)

“Maybe next month?” Jo prompts when he still doesn't say anything. 

“Annie only has bad memories of me,” Gale says. “I don't want to do that to her.

“Ah, fuck you,” Johanna says, breathing exasperation. “The only way to get over that is to build some new memories, alright?”

“When did you become so full of worldly advice?” Gale shoots back.

“I'm just _saying_ , Gale, that we're all working on a second chance here, right?” she asks.

But they both know well enough that's not true. There are plenty of people they know who aren't getting second chances. There's only this one life, and it's fluid. It builds on top of itself. There's no clean slate. 

…

(Why should he have been expected to like Finnick Odair?

Except he did. And he saw the sort of love that he was missing out on. And now the world is missing out on that love as well.)


End file.
